Just me

Can’t sleep tonight (which is a change as that is all I seem capable of doing these days), so I thought I would let you know that yes I am actually in the land of the living (just!).  So many times in my past I have faced challenges which were hard (or I thought were hard)  but nothing, absolutely nothing like this.   Even just the energy taken to write this so far has my arms shaking which is so not like me.  There have been moments in the last week where I have not been sure I could get through the next minute never mind the next hour or day but I have, only because of the prayers and good wishes I know that are out there supporting me onward.  A transplant, I know now, is not something you can ever really prepare for as it would appear to be something that zaps every last drop out of you before even thinking of rebooting your system and I am so ready for that to start.  On the plus side the staff here are amazing, you could not get better, and the level of care is first rate and beyond.   For those of you who have been in contact and have not heard back from me, just let me say thank you now and I promise some time in the very near future I will be in contact but for now I am going to find something that does not involve my brain or my arms to pass the time.  Love always xxxx



Happy Birthday To Me

Fiona here, I have stolen Jades blog , ha ha that will teach her to leave the computer out.  Ok, so that is a lie, she has asked me to help her do it as she has chemo brain.  You can tell she is not firing on all cylinders, when her instructions were limited to” nothing rude.” So here goes

Jade had her transplant yesterday and therefore has a second birthday.  So I now technically have  a younger sister, mum and dad we need words.  She is doing well especially since mum and myself are here  to torture her.  Having done her sleeping beauty trick yesterday, she is now awake and functioning as best as she can. That being  said  she is still sitting around doing drugs, which is wrong.

When you really think about it, what this complete stranger has done for our family is out of this word, amazing.  We will never get to thank them, but I can thank everyone who tried to sign up, those who are now on the donor register and those who shared it.  You will always be in our families hearts.   Having this journey  to travel may not be fun, but we have it and will definitely find major laughs along the way.

I would also like to thank everyone of you that has sent positive words of encouragement, sent letters, followed her blog, prayed for us and those who have been able to visit her.  This has really kept her spirits up, when it all got too much.  It has also made it easier on my family, to know she always has someone to talk to, being that we are nearly spread for one end of the country to the other.  That is for noise control not because we don’t like each other.

At present she is on antifungal  drugs ( she did have the lurgy as a child lol), anti sickness and her blood sugars are all kinds of crazy, but all in all she is doing ok.  Unfortunately she has pet bugs in her line so she needs to have anti biotics. I have managed not to bring any germs up this time so no need to be vaccinated against her family.

Now you get to know the real Jade.  She is fleecing mum and myself out of a dog when she finally kicks this cancer in the bum ( not too rude ).  I think a mix would be good, so may be a bull dog crossed with shih Tzu, you can work out what that would be lol.  Who cares, she can have what she wants for this one time ever lol

So that is me for now and handing back the blog to Jade.

Love Fiona xxxxxxxxxx

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T -1

Who new eating as many ice-lollies in half an hour could be part of any medical treatment but it turns out that it is.  Today I was given a bag of heavy duty chemo and to try and preserve as much of the soft mucus tissue in your mouth and throat you have to eat ice-lollies.  I managed 5 – the max is 10.  Turns out that I am also starting to suffer from chemo brain as it took me about half an hour to remember the word cookbook and not menu when thinking I should invest in some good diabetic recipes.  See that the thing while I am still feeling mostly alright I am suffering from high temps, rigors, bugs in my line, rashes, allergic reaction and diabetes again.  On the plus side none of this is new to the team, and the team here are fabulous, so each new problem is investigated and treated well.  So today I am having more chemo and more chemo and more chemo, followed by antibiotics and antibiotics and antibiotics then they give antihistamine and that is good night from me as it just knocks me out.  Tomorrow I get my new cells and then from what I have been told the fun will really start but I am ok with that.   Over the last few days this has got me thinking and it is not because I think anything will really happen to me,  but because it might,  that I wanted to say that each and every one of you means so much to me and has enriched my life in some way, you have made my life’s journey more interesting and enjoyable and basically helped to make me the person who I am today (some of you might not say that is such a good thing ;o).  And in that respect I know I am not perfect and I want to take this opportunity to say sorry if I have ever hurt or wronged you in some way.  I hope that you can forgive me for I really did not mean to.  I also want to say thank you for the fun times, the laughs and the giggles, the nights of deep conversation, the meditations on God, the teaching about prayer and faith, the holding through the tears, the letting me in to your lives to do the same.  You are all amazing people. Just remember (and I know you will have heard it before) life is short.  Don’t put off today something that you should be doing, something that will make you happy, we don’t get do-overs in this life just one chance to make the right choices so make yours count.  Anyway here comes the antihistamine so it is time for my afternoon nap.  Love you all xxx



Ready, set, here we go……..

This morning I woke up in the QEUH for the first time ready to start the next step in my journey.  Yesterday was day -8 and today is -7.  At day 0 I receive my new cells from some amazing stranger out there who has never met me yet is willing to try to save my life.  In a world full of horrid news about awful people and situations there are still wonderful, wonderful people out there doing good, kind and caring deeds just because they can and we should never forget that.

So this morning I had another bone marrow biopsy which is always fun, fun, fun and then my first dose of chemo.  The amount of tablets they have me on is fairly substantial, with these being the ones I get before breakfast  Image preview


So this next wee while is going to be a bit rocky but at least I know what the plan is and with God’s help and your continued good wishes I hope to be out of here in no time!