So this time last year my house was full of friends and family all coming together to welcome in 2020 – I am not sure that was our best idea ever. This year it is so different. To begin with this year I am no longer a genetic match to any of my family members (I am not sure who wins there ;o) and my house is fairly empty with only three of us in it tonight, dad, Oliver and myself as mum sees in New Year in hospital after a suspected heart attack at the weekend. She is planning to break out tomorrow after discovering that hospital is not as much fun as she thought it was – I have been telling her that for years. What a way to end the year. Mum was the fit and healthy one and I know that I have to take a fair bit of responsibility for her Inverness vacation as I have put her under so much stress these last few years. Even saying all of this I do realise how lucky I am. I have made it to the end of 2020 with all of my family still here, even if we are not in the same building and are somewhat bruised and broken we are all accounted for. There were a few points this year when I was not even sure I was going to make it, yet here I am, home, studying at Uni and training for the ministry. It may be hard but I am doing it and this is only because of the support of my wonderful family and amazing friends (trust me you are the best group of people anyone could ever ask for in their life), the donor that is saving my life and also due to all the fantastic NHS staff that have and are keeping my family going.

Please, please think about these staff tonight if you are planning on partying, and then rethink as staying in and staying safe is the best gift you could ever give them.

With all this in mind what about 2021? Well, I am just going to tiptoe into the New Year. I am going to take it one day at a time. I am going to try to be a nicer, kinder more generous version of myself and I am I going to try and show and tell all of you, who are so dear to me, that I love you as often as I can, because we honestly don’t know when the last time we might say those words will be. I LOVE YOU – see I have started already. I am going to tiptoe into 2021 but I am going to do it full of hope and faith. Faith that God is in control, even when I can’t see it. Faith that I am following His path. Faith that I will have the strength to deal with whatever 2021 has up its sleeve and let’s not pretend it is is going to be a cakewalk. Hope that my family is healed. Hope that the vaccine works. Hope that my friends lives are full of peace, love and happiness. Hope that hurts are healed and lessons learned. Hope that this time next year my house is full of friends, family and love because out of the three of them, faith, hope and love, the greatest gift of all is love. Have a happy and peaceful New Year and see you all in 2021 (after I have rescued my mum ;o) xxx

One day the phone will go and I will get good news. You have won a new car, you don’t ever have to write and essay again, they have discovered a cure for cancer, you know that sort of thing. My phone calls tend not to be like that and today was no different. Turns out my last blood test shows I have toxoplasmosis, go me. For those who don’t know what it is ” toxoplasmosis is a parasitic infection that infects a large proportion of the world’s population, but rarely causes disease. Certain people, however, are at high risk of severe or life-threatening disease from this parasite. They include infants who are infected at birth, people with AIDS, people with cancer, and people who have had bone marrow or organ transplantation.” Yeah me. Sometimes I do wonder who I have annoyed upstairs!!! On the plus side no matter what bug is living in me nothing is stopping me putting up my Christmas decorations, well apart from essay writing which I should really be getting on with. Maybe if I am lucky I will lose the phone in the Christmas decorations and then I wont have to deal with real life till next year when I take them down, or maybe I should just turn it off asking people to ‘please don’t leave a message after the beep – unless you know I have won a car, you have cured cancer etc.’