I guess it IS in the eye of the beholder.

Good news – my eyes are improving yippee.  I have a hospital appointment next month but they are getting better.  Also great news – I have finished my consolidation treatment and am now on maintenance which is much less intense, yippee.

On Friday I went to Inverness for treatment and I must admit I was not feeling my best.  These days I am exhausted and doing anything too physical i.e. walking longer than the length of the house exhausts me.  However when I was in Inverness a stranger came up to me and told me how beautiful and inspiring I was. (Let me tell you a secret I have never felt beautiful in my life and even less so now).  Later after lunch I met the woman again and she repeated her earlier comments (no I was not stalking her) and I must admit that it lifted my spirits.  Ok I know that I am NOT beautiful but while I had never met this woman before and probably never will again her words improved my day (although dad questioned if she really meant me – you have to love him).   This just goes to show how a few positive words can work wonders, and reminded me to always think before I speak, because words are one of our most powerful tools and we should use them responsibly.


My eyes are dim I cannot see.

This is just a quick post to say sorry if you have been in contact with me over the last few weeks and I have not returned your message be it facebook, email, text etc.  As part of the trial there is a drug that they give you which needs steroids along side it to work.  The steroids helped to trigger diabetes which has caused my eyesight to fail.  I am hoping that it improves in the next few weeks but until then I am trying to rest my eyes as much as possible.  In order to write this I had to use large font and even then everything was blurry  so text messages are a no go.  I keep saying that the chemo is not the worst thing it is all the rest of it that is the problem.

On the inside.

Today I felt a bit like a prisoner who was having there contraband forcibly removed.  Ok, maybe not quite that but the hospital stole my salad. My smoked mackerel salad became smoked mackerel -hmmmmm it is just not the same.  Why you may ask how could anyone be so cruel, well it was just to stop me getting sicker. You see this week I came back down for chemo on Tuesday and on Wednesday when I went in for the next round I was kept in.  Now this would not have been so bad if I had been prepared, but I am never sick (well ok maybe a bit of an understatement), so I had nothing with me.  Turns out I had all the ics I was neutropenic, anaemic, diabetic (thank you steroids)  and infected (ok I know it is not an ic but…..)  I had some infection that spiked a temp and chemo was cancelled and up to a ward I went.  Sadly now instead of going home tomorrow I am in for the weekend.  On the plus side my dear friend Rhona dropped off my things the next day as just one night in a hospital gown, no soap or toothbrush was enough for me to cope with and probably all the NHS staff.  So her I stay until my counts come up but I have had 3 units of blood so that has cured the anaemia yippee, with amount of antibiotics I am having pumped in the infection should be gone and the blood sugars seem to be under control.  I guess three out of four ain’t bad.