Ok so it has been a while since I have written here and that is basically because I have been exhausted. On Sunday I was even unable to make dad’s fathers day dinner and my poor mother was left with that task. On top of that on Friday when I came up the road from a doctors appointment my mum, dad and Louise spent over 7 hours traveling around the country, stuck in accidents and behind windmill convoys just because of me. They have spent months ferrying me around and dealing with the fallout of this illness. Even my 3 year old niece is missing me and wanting me better so I can come and visit. While chemo may not be fun, it is not me. but the rest of the family that really have to cope with this illness. I may have the cancer but I just have to turn up for the treatment while they are left with all the rest. Over the months that I have had this I have seen my dad age and heard how my mother has worried about how she would cope if I died. . While I sit in the waiting room I hear similar stories being repeated again and again. Family members having to take time of work to look after sick relatives, worry and stress causing them to become sick themselves, but through it all there is a strength and a positiveness that would be hard to find anywhere else. While cancer may be trying to break an individual it finds it very hard to break a family unit and tonight I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to my family because while I may be putting them through hell I could not do this without them (both those up North and those down South) they are amazing and I love them.
The world is full of amazing and wonderful people. Today a friend of mind drove for 150 miles just so that my car could get an m.o.t. and also to take me to the bus in Fort William because the road was closed in Skye and the bus I had to get was cancelled – so thank you Mr Gilbert you are fantastic. While then waiting on the connecting bus to the hospital I managed to drop my suitcase and before I knew it some gentleman had picked it up for me. Now I could have done it but he was there before I could move telling me to “look after myself”. There are days when you just believe again in the goodness of people.
So on Wednesday I had my portacath inserted as they could no longer use any picc lines. Sadly when I went to the hospital today it did not work but fingers crossed that it is only due to swelling around the tubing and that it will work like it should next week.
Tomorrow I have to go for another round of spinal chemo and to have my bloods checked. Now the pharmacist seems to think that they will have dropped and he has told the nurses to stop me doing a runner home but I am hoping that he is wrong and that I am able to flee the coop without any issue tomorrow – well that would be after a needle is rammed in my spine oh the joy. There are some days when I just know that I am so very lucky because if these are the worst of my problems then I am doing A OK.