Tomorrow, tomorrow….

Back out of hospital tomorrow I hope.  I have been hooked up to a drip 24 hours a day since 6am on Wednesday and now I only have two and a half hours to go until I am free from the dreaded machine.  I had chemo on Wed for 24 hours and then you have to wait till it leaves your system which took until 12.30pm today.  Fluids are put in constantly over that time amd I must admit I probably kept my room mates awake half the night with my trips to the bathroom so I bet they will be glad to see the back of me.  I am now getting a couple units of blood and some tablets (which can mess with my liver again oh joy), cream etc. for a skin infection that I appear to have developed and then freedom will be mine.  I must admit that I am so glad that this last part of my treatment is over.  I may not be the most active person in the world but I do like to be able to move around and I can’t do that when on the drip.  There is also the frustration of not being able to do anything to make the chemo clear faster and all I can do is wait for my body to get rid of it.  So the good news is that I am now off the chemo for 2 weeks.  I do not have to be back down again until the 14th when I start a different kind of chemo, one that means that I can move about more freely I hope.

Moan, moan, moan.

Today there was room at the inn and thus I am back at the Beatson.  Tomorrow at 6am I start my next round of chemo.  6am … you would think they could start a little later.   Today has not been a great day and I found it very hard to motivate myself and phone to see if there was a bed.  Partly, I guess it is the fact that I have been fighting this hellish disease for 5 months now and at times it can feel at bit like treading water. Then there is the fact that I am finally getting home and the idea of leaving again is so hard.  Also I am exhausted which is causing my mood to dip slightly and then there is the feeling that I want my life to change but I am just not sure how.  I don’t want to go back to the way things were before, I want to start living my life doing something I enjoy and something worth worthwhile but my inner monologue keeps poohooing me and telling me that wont happen but maybe it is time to ignore the negatives and only listen to the positives?  So that is my moan for today.  Tomorrow I hope will be better and I promise no more complaining.  On the plus side I am in a different bed this time and maybe that means the internet will work better, who knows.

Family, who would have them?

Has anyone ever had to be inoculated against their own family before?  Well I had that joy this week.  After finally getting out of hospital on Wednesday morning and coming home, Rory my 3 year old niece decided to get chickenpox on Thursday.  This meant that on Friday I had to go to the doctors and have 4 injections (2 of which just had to go in my bum) and am now having to take 5 horse tablets a day.  While this may not be much fun being home and spending time with my family is.  Sadly Fiona and co left today but it was still great to spend some time with them.

So this is me home until Tuesday when I am back in for another round of chemo.  While the chemo itself is no fun, it is not too awful either.  Being stuck on a drip for a week however is no laugh.  I am unable to move my right arm much, as it stops the drip and sets the alarm off, so basically I have to lie in bed and not move.  Top this off with the internet not working and you can imaging how much fun that was.  This time I hope to be in a different bed (one with wifi signal) and thus will be able to speak to the outside world while I am incarcerated on the inside.

Internet is internot

So I am back in hospital and have a huge problem – what you may ask?  Well my internet is hardly working, so Netflix is not happy, and thus neither am I.  Also the machine that is putting my chemo in (for the next 23 hours) is working for about two minutes before it decides that there is a problem and starts beeping its little head off. Add to that I have to pee in shells all the time and leave them in the bathroom for the nurses to take away (the bathroom is shared with three others) and you might understand just how pants this stay in hospital is.  Yesterday I had another bone marrow test and a new picc line was put in which left me feeling a bit battered and bruised so all in all I am not feeling my best.  picc

On the plus side the people in my ward are fantastic, as are the staff, and that makes everything easier.  Also one of my good friends is raising money for the Beatson ( so if you have any pennies spare please think of giving them to Jay, and thus the Beatson, and help in this fight against cancer.

Back again

So it has been a very long time since I have written here but I am back.  I have been home now for 2 weeks (minus two days spent traveling up and down to Glasgow for bloods, chest x-ray and antibiotics – via Oban as the roads were closed due to the weather).  The plan was for me to be home for one week but after getting sick my next lot of chemo was postponed until – well maybe tomorrow.  I have to phone tomorrow at 8.30am and see if a bed is available and if it is then I have to get the 9.15am bus down the road.  Thanks to getting the chest infection I have been shattered almost all of the time that I have been home.  However I did manage to go out for a walk one day but almost killed myself by walking too far.  I guess what I have learnt since I have been home is to take things  slowly and rest when I need as if I don’t I am wiped for the entire day.  While exhaustion and a chest infection have not been my high points of being home catching up with all the people that I have not seen for months has been brilliant.  My friend Alison took me around to visit some people last weekend which was fantastic and others have been popping in over the last couple of weeks.  Now however it is time for me to go pack (I have been avoiding doing it all day).  There is a part of me that really does not want to go but I know that I have to.  Lets just hope that I don’t have to go via Oban again.