Everything is a little darker, a little quieter.

This is where I always come to deal with the hard stuff in life. You know the you have leukaemia, the leukaemia is back, the chemo is not working, mum’s heat attack, dad’s death, you know the hard stuff. But never, not once did I imagine I would be trying to put into the words the pain of losing my sister. Fiona was the loudest, kindest, most caring, annoying, argumentative, brilliant, funny, loving, vibrant spirit you could ever be lucky enough to meet, she brought light, life and joy into the world and I can’t believe she is gone. Writing here has always helped me in the dark times but try as I might I just can’t find the words this time, I can’t find the light. I am blessed that she has left me the most amazing brother-in-law, three wonderful children and the greatest bunch of friends – all of whom have a little bit of her in them, so I guess she is not really gone. If nothing else this year has shown me that you never know what is around the corner, so love each other harder, say those words you are too scared to say, don’t put off the important thing till tomorrow, show each other how much you care, love each other harder (I may have already said that). Life is short and we don’t always get a second chance. I would end with something about Fiona resting in peace but you know Fiona she is probably causing mayhem as we speak. xxx