Today I have felt my inner toddler rising to the surface. Everything in me is screaming to stay home where I feel happy and healthy but I know that I have to go down and start another round of treatment. It is kind of like fighting against our natural flight or fight instinct as I know that going down and having treatment means that I will start feeling sick again. Every night this week I have been out for a walk at sunset and it makes me realise how lucky I am to still be here but if I want to beat this disease then I must keep fighting it and this means sticking more poison in my system and then dealing with the side effects. So now I am off to pack my case, find my bus ticket and stat acting my age even if I think my inner toddler has a point.