Back again.

The one thing about being sick is that I have discovered what a fantastic bunch of friends I truly have and on Saturday 1 such friend had his hair sheared (and I mean sheared) off to raise money for the Beatson Cancer Charity.  Andrew went above and beyond and has of now raised over £600 pounds for the hospital and I think that is an amazing and wonderful thing for him to have done.  I honestly can’t believe what he was willing to do (as the hair really was part of the man ;o) but he did it and for that a huge thank you must be said.

I also know that it has been a while since I have written here but I guess I realise now that I am sicker than I thought I was while in hospital.  Each morning starts ok, but 9 out of 10 times by the time I am up, showered and dressed I am exhausted.  So for those of you who have written, texted or emailed me I am sorry if I have not got back to you but most days I have just been completely shattered before it has even started. Today however has been an exceptional day, as not only have I achieved all of the above, I have also been to the hospital and still have some energy in reserve – go me (or maybe it is the green tea with lime!).  I wonder if this means that my liver has decided that it wants to play with the big kids again?  Best not hope for too much at the moment.

Since I have been on here last I have had another bone marrow sample taken, and while the docs did not have the results on Friday when I was in, my consultant was very positive that the first round of treatment had done what it was supposed to as my bloods are holding steady.  If this is the case then as soon as my liver settles down I will be starting my second round of treatment.  There is part of me that is shouting “bring it on” but there is another part of me that would just like a little while to get my feet back under myself and be allowed a some time to feel half human again.  There are some days when I forget what that was like and it might be nice to enjoy that feeling for a while but I guess the sooner I start the sooner it is over and done with.

So now that I have this extra energy boost I am away to apply for the psychology and counselling course that I hope to start in Feb.  One of the items on my bucket list checked off.  I realise now that while I love the jobs I was/am doing (and am not planning on quitting them in the foreseeable future) I guess I feel that maybe I could be achieving more and this is a step in the right direction.  My life before ALL was not awful but when I look back I hope to see a distinct line drawn before/after ALL.  I don’t want to stagnate anymore, I want to start living and in order to that I need to start making changes and this is step one in a long line of such changes hopefully – sadly in order to make said change forms must first be filled in any volunteers?   I am sick after all ;o)




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