Just now I am living with (or should that be tormenting myself with) the three C’s – cancer adverts, Christmas adverts (there was one save the donkey advert but that does not count) and cooking programmes.  Everywhere I go there are adverts for either Christmas or cancer be they in newspapers, magazines or television they are just everywhere and the slightly twisted irony of it all is not lost to me.  Christmas is fast approaching and I am so hoping to be home for a few days over the festive period.  I want to wake up on Christmas morning at home with my family, whom I miss very much, and just spend the day with them.  I watch all the Christmas adverts (and the occasional film I must admit) and keep hoping that that will be me.  I have no idea if it will even be possible as I don’t know when the next round of treatment can start but that does not stop a girl from wishing – it is Christmas after all.

Then there are all the cancer stories and adverts.  I swear that there were never that many articles and adverts about before I was sick.  There are happy stories, sad stories, charities looking for support and adverts giving advice.  There are days when you think that it is almost impossible not to be confronted by the disease from the media and then you go and wake up, or stand up, or look at yourself in the mirror and you realise that there is no way for you to avoid it anyway so what does it matter.

Add to the fact that as I no longer taste anything and many foods are on the “I can’t eat list” and guess what I have found?  That’s right, the food channel and it has become my new favourite friend.  I love to watch all these wonderful meals being made and hear about all different smells, textures and flavours, when tonight all I could eat was half a bowl of soup.  I can even torment myself a bit more by watching Christmas cooking programmes, which even I will admit is just wrong, but you never know it might just be alright on the night!