Today has been an odd yet wonderful sort of day.  Since starting maintenance I have been feeling pretty awful.  I am exhausted all of the time and feel sick 90% of the time.  Then last night the anxiety started again, which is something I have not felt in a very long time, and unless you have suffered from anxiety is almost impossible to explain how irrational and yet all consuming fear can be. Today I was to attend a  bible study in Kyle and I kept thinking that I could not go and before I got sick I would have given in and just cancelled but not today.  Today I stood my ground and did not run and hide but continued with my plans and I had a wonderful afternoon, spending time listening to Gods word, with some amazing people.  Struggling with illness be it physical or mental is always going to be tough,  but for me today was a win, and I must remember that no matter what life throws at me from now on there will be no more running away, for if I can beat cancer (and I will) then I can do anything – well maybe not brain surgery in the near future but you know what I mean ;o)