December, is normally my favourite  month of the year.  I love Christmas – all the hope and promise that it brings.  I love the story, the lights and the glitter, the trees and the decorations, I love New Year and being surrounded by friends, family and love.  This December however has really been trying to kick my ass.  In the last few weeks I know what it is like to be blue lit across Glasgow by ambulance, to have an infection that is resistant to antibiotics (not fun), I have had to have my line taken out and will have a new one put in on the 23rd.  I have had to have a tooth taken out before transplant in case it causes a problem and I missed my last two doses of chemo as well as my heart and lung tests due to being in hospital.   Just when I thought things were on the up (I managed to stay awake for a couple of hours straight ;o) the hospital phoned today to say that my donor had failed their medical (I do pray that they are ok), so my transplant is postponed until they find a new one and all we can do is hope and pray that I stay in remission.  So I think it is fair to say that December is really doing a number on me this year but this time next week will be Christmas and there is nothing that can stop me from enjoying my favourite day of the year (at least I hope there is not).  If however you are missing a card or a gift from me I can only apologies and promise that next year I will be more organized – but this year I just have to admit that December has got the better of me ;o)