In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

There was a man sent from God whose name was John.  He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all might believe.  He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.

The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world.  He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.  Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Anyone else putting away their Christmas decorations wondering what disasters will I have faced before I take them out again, or is that just my life? I wrote this in January 2021 little knowing what was actually around the corner, how that year my life would change forever. But why am I bringing this up again now? Well, this time of year can be hard for so many people. As lights and decorations go up, invites to Christmas parties and events come in, and everyone seems to get caught in the hustle and bustle of Christmas for those of us who have lost our Christmas sparkle this time can be so very difficult. Now please don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas and all that it involves, I love the trees, the decorations, the present buying. In fact, if it sparkles, glitters or plays Christmas music I need to have it, and let’s be honest I could not be doing the work I am if I did not love this season, a belief in Christmas is kind of fundamental to the role of a minister. But, and this is a big but, this year once again there will be no tree or decorations going up in my house, even though I have them hidden in boxes in almost every room. Why is that you may ask (the decorations not going up not the amount I have ;o) Well it is simply because the absence of Dad and Fiona is still too raw. And yes I know we are coming up to the 2nd anniversary of Fiona’s death, slightly longer for Dad, and maybe I should have moved on, but they were just so much a part of this season that their silence is still deafening, there is still a void where they should be, but no longer are.

Now I am not writing this for sympathy but simply to highlight the fact that while Christmas is and should be all about joy, fun and celebration, for some of us it is one of the most difficult times of the year. But that is okay, for it truly is okay not to be okay, it is okay not to be full of the Christmas spirit, of festive cheer, for if we are being honest that is not really what this season is all about. In truth that first Christmas was not some picture-perfect experience, yes there was family, love, hope, fulfilment of promise and celebration but there was also hurt, pain, loneliness, mess and doubt mixed in. So this year if you are feeling a bit lost, lonely, hurt, sad, empty; if you are feeling like you are walking to a different beat to those around you, then just remember this season does not last forever, January will be here soon enough. You will get through this. But for now take comfort in the fact that you are not alone, for sadly there are probably more of us out there than you imagine, those of us who are trying to do Christmas but struggling, as well as those of us who just can’t face it at all. However maybe like me, you can take comfort in the fact the darkness does not last forever, and at some point, the light will come back and the joy will return.